PHYLUM FRESHERUS

Phylum Fresherus; a slimy creature that creeps out of the undergrowth every August; nickname: wannabe; familiar toys of members of the higher species a.k.a. the been-there-done-that’s. The silent protagonist of this story belongs, by some quirk of fate and possible admin problems to the above group at NITK. Meet Balagopalakrishna Rajan. One of the many victims of short forms: his friends charitably call him Bala.

Bala has survived a monster of schooling and is going to meet his next. All of 45 kg, he is left by his parents at Mangalore and arrives at college at an unearthly hour of 10:15 p.m. He is armed: food to feed an army & clothes that just leave Comm. Street gullies a tad dry. To his surprise, Bala is greeted by a closed gate and lorries that give low-cost flying a new meaning. Enter his ‘Baap’, the higher life form who graciously shows off his experience: a side entrance! Bala has been suffering from a horrid blend of a backache and the ordeal called bladder control. Fast forward to junior territory. Bala is welcomed with a crash course in names and makes his best attempt to pretend to remember any of them.

The next morning, Bala invites friend and topper Maggu to the beach. Maggu grudgingly agrees, having to abandon the more satisfying task of studying ahead of the class. A miserable downpour leaves Bala wet & regretting not having purchased an umbrella. As for Maggu, he does not lose the opportunity to dole out science theories. His contrarian theories include why it is advisable for two people to share an umbrella rather than purchase two. So, what is Maggu? A gifted economist? Potential Nobel Laureate? Or plain warped? You decide...

An hour later they return soaked to the skin, and are brave enough to sample the mess food. Bala & Maggu are now in the company of jocks who cannot wait for the Olympics. Never to be left our, Maggu pips in with his proposal to replace gold medals with (hold your breath…) semiconductors. Maggu is gaining popularity and is even included in an amateurish discussion on pornography. Ever-inquisitive, Maggu is satisfied when informed that a pervert refers to somebody who is sick. Being well-versed with Hostel Regulations, he promptly suggests that perverts be served Bread & Milk in their rooms!

In the meanwhile, Bala has joined an insulated group of friends who give mono-syllable responses for all his questions. This is a group of students from other states making an attempt in vain to understand the English-speaking Lungi-wearing “Bangy” crowd. The group is unaware of the finer nuances of Bangalore speech, sprinkled with ‘da’s that serve as the oral substitute for a comma.

In Bala’s company, they visit Maggu’s room to invite him for a walk around the campus. Maggu wakes up like a disgruntled bear that has been dragged out of hibernation. The group is appalled by what appears like a skimpy towel that saved them a trip past the GH. In one of his amazing mood swings, Maggu races down the stairs, while giving a discourse on the durability of his red denim shorts (who would have guessed?) The whole group decides to get back at Mugs (everybody is rechristened). For the uninitiated, this is for enduring the severe mental torture of unsolicited science lectures. Mugs returns to find missing from his room: his blanket, worse: his clothes, worst of all: his books. The now-content group own up a little later, leaving Mugs to find solace in Cauchy’s theorems.

Bala is settling in and soon realizes that there is more to college life beyond Maggu’s antics. He graduates to a patrol trip past the GH around the institute. Disheartened by not getting a glimpse of their goal, Bala visits the founder’s statue for inspiration. He gets it when he finds a cozy nook for lovers. Maggu, for once, was tired. The same hand that shot up like a Diwali rocket in class to answer questions, was longing for a pillow.

Bala & Maggu are only few of the creatures that make up Phylum Fresherus. It’s a jungle out there. Let’s just leave them crawling…